Perhaps I will post you a video of my possible future birth defect. For now though, I just get to have a nice lovely surgery and some "very difficult and uncomfortable" rehab. What does that mean... they will circle all the fat parts of my body? That would be uncomfortable. We are talking making a joint move that never has in my life, which sounds more to me like torture. Really I would appreciate if one of you would start researching how to replace cartilage so I don't have a club foot and look like a fool. I really enjoy heels and cowgirl boots, so the whole "no solution" answer really isn't going to cut it for me.
Tonight we watched No Strings Attached, which I realized is kind of my life story minus all the sex. Which is good if you are God and you are observing my life. Which You better be cause I am trying awfully hard to be good, I even gave the Kiwanis Club people four dollars. So pay attention, You Up There.
Tomorrow I start calculus, and as nerdy and horrible as this is: I can't wait. I feel like my brain has been running at 40% and that is just not okay. The fact that watching Khloe and Lamar provides me great and vast happiness is a clear symptom of lack of brain usage.
Friday night (we are really jumping around right now, I am sorry) I threw my first bachelorette party. Which means I had to go to a sex shop to get a sash and crown and contemplated getting a two foot blow up penis, but our waiter ended up hating us so asking for an extra chair for our friend would have been even worse. Basically it was just probably a tad inappropriate. I also didn't order a male stripper, although I was told that at my party, they are going to call ten. So if you get invited, in ten years from now, be warned that I was once threatened with ten strippers and that may happen because that is my life. The party overall was a success I think, although I thought in true Hangover form that I lost Natalie. I woke up (butt naked for some reason I am yet to discover) and couldn't find her anywhere. And all I could think about was Alan without pants. On the bright side, there was no tiger, chicken or baby in our apartment. I found Natalie downstairs on the couch, and apparently she woke up naked as well and took a shower and shaved her legs because Natalie is a motivated drunk. She knows this because she went to bed with perfectly curled hair and woke up with shower hair and shaved legs.
Ten strippers threatened, and birth defect later, I am now going to bed so that I can go function at calc tomorrow. I hope your weekend was as eventful as mine, I would love to hear all about it if you feel like sharing.
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