I blame Mr. Belz.

It all started in the fifth grade. Mr. Belz had moved from his lazy boy in the library to a rolling chair in a class room, from which he presided over our class with totalitarianism and a snack ban. He and I didn't... click. The main issue was his math skills. Back in the good old days I really loved math. Well, I loved school in general, if you left out the trading lip gloss and failing at teatherball at recess part of it. When Mr. Belz was incapable of completing long division on the board during the math portion of our class, the overly concerned and high maintenance eme decided that the first day of class was a good time to correct him.

Now, they say it is wrong to speak ill of those who have died (he passed away a few years ago which made me feel pretty old) I have to say a few things: Mr. Belz did not want to be a fifth grade teacher, and to my interpretation he didn't like children. At least in the library he could sit in peace knowing there were very few of us who knew where the library was, let alone chose to visit it for more than a pre-class escape from the -20 degree weather. Mr. Belz did not take kindly to my correction, and I spent the better half of my recess time for that year sitting in his room with my head down. Now, if my calc teacher today asked me to do that I would lovingly abide and would enjoy a little cat nap during class. It never works that way though, and at the time missing recess was the end of my world.... how could I get a boyfriend? Would I be replaced at the lunch table if I kept missing lunch? Would Jasmin give her mom's stolen lip stick to someone else? Oh the horror.

I wish I could go back to fifth grade when life was so "complicated and difficult" and my brain worked through math problems like it was easier than breathing. This month, as I suffer through calculus every day with a test each Friday, I am wondering what happened to that portion of my brain and why I can't do math anymore. So I am choosing to forgo my ability to rationally take blame and admit that I have not really studied or applied over 80% of my brain power, and instead I will say the sunlight I was deprived of as a child as punishment for being correct at math has lead me to a psychological inability to process math without fear of retaliation.

However, I did point out to my professor that he forgot to teach us the material for the quiz, and so once again I am reminded that even though I may not be stellar at math, I am still great at calling teachers on their issues. Let's just hope they don't decide to call me out on mine.