A royal wedding AND Osama dead, all in one week?????? This must be the work of the beatification of Pope John Paul II.
It is very likely that I'm about to have a spaz attack break down. Although to be honest, while it was precious that William and Kate kissed twice, where was that famous English snog? If I was Kate, I'd have laid a good one on him regardless of the Queen's disapproval. Perhaps, despite his gingerness, I shall go attempt to seduce Harry. Who, by the way, appeared to have rolled right out of bed with his on and off again girlfriend and right down the aisle with his brother. Unfortunately he didn't roll right out of my bed. Not to mention that Osama being dead will possibly spur lots of retaliation, similar to insulting Justin Beiber in a crowd of 13 year old girls, or telling Ben Landusky that the Greenbay Packers blow or depriving meatheads in the gym from their number one drink muscle milk.
At the moment I am watching some footage of Osama in a terrorist cell talking and doing some turban tying... frankly, being a terrorist looks: dirty, beardy, and boring. Why on earth would you pick that as your profession? Aside, you know, from the mental instability, insanity, desire to kill people, and overall lack of moral reasoning. For the entire TV clip, all they do is sit around kissing each other on the head in a windowless room, sitting on the floor on dirty pillows, in a manner similar to that of homeless men who lucked out on having a room to hide in. There are many things in life that I would rather do, like brush Roo's teeth with my tooth brush. Although in reality the number of dog kisses to my mouth that have occurred make that a pretty invalid statement. So let's rephrase: I would rather never see a baby cow again, or be forced to give up cheese for my entire life, or be forced to kiss Britney Spears than hang out with those men for a day. Let alone kiss their bald heads. I wonder if they consider making wigs from their beards, or just wrapping their beards all around their head to make up for their baldness. Perhaps my dad should take pointers from them.
The riveting moment of the video clip was when the turban of one of them men came unraveled. WOAH HOLD THE PHONE he has to re-wrap it. But first kisses a few men. Of course. Now I don't want to send people up in arms over my distaste for turbans, but it appeared to look quite like a roll of toilet paper when unraveled.
Let's jump back to the Royal Wedding. I am not sure if you were all as excited as I was (which was not, actually, enough to stay up till 3am to watch it live...) but perhaps it is my love for all things British: Pride and Prejudice, English bulldogs, biscuts, Bridget Jones, the word "shag", the phrase "the Queen's knickers", and boys with British accents who happen to also have nice teeth and a tan (does that even exist??), but I was very excited for the wedding. I am curious as to what on God's green Earth was going through Kate's head... "Oh la di da a normal day for me, marrying a real life prince and not getting snogged properly, oh why yes thank you I'll have a crumpet and some tea, let's go now my royal carriage is here, cheerio!" I would have been on a different level of nervous breakdown, that's for sure. Then again, as they call her "Waity Katie" perhaps she has already fantasized the life out of her wedding day. Adjusting to the idea that Prince William was going to be my husband and my entire life was going to be televised may be a bit too much to handle; look what it did to LC and Kristen on the OC. Perhaps though, Kate and William will be as addictive as Khloe and Lamar, which I secretly watch every weekend.
And so we finish this week, and have lived to witness what may be one of the most important weeks in history: the wedding, the beatification of JPII who I wish was my grandpa, and the sending of Osama Bin Laden to the firey place fondly known as hell, where he can spend the rest of eternity pondering what a total douchebag he was in the company of his fellow arseholes (thank you Britain) Hitler, Stalin, and the people who chew with their mouthes open in public.
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