The grass is greener if you work your ass off mowing it and lose 10 pounds.

One issue I have with writing a blog is the whole possibility that I write things because I think they matter and really... they don't. Some things are needed because they provide comic relief. But I am actually planning on using this for SOMETHING. I just don't know what. I love the Single Woman on Twitter because I can count on multiple daily tidbits of happiness reminding me that despite the world's beliefs, I am not failing at life simply because I am not looking for a relationship. I love being single. That's just a fact. So that motivational goodoo bull shit is actually pretty stellar.

Then we have Jenna on Youtube, who I adore because if I cranked up my cussing 10 degrees and developed a Jersey accent as well as bleached the absolute shit out of my hair as she suggests, I feel like I could be her. Maybe not as funny, but as rude. Is that a bad thing? Probably.

Anyway, for now I am just going to keep telling you things like how I got asked if I was a high schooler when in Starbucks, but then an hour later got asked if I was 21 and could go out by a total cutie at work, so chances are I no longer look 14. Sorry, all you pervy peds out there searching for a fiesty little girl to creep on. Keep looking, cause I'm not your girl.

Which has actually come with a good side (not being asked if I am going into 9th grade with all those little prostitots) and a bad side (metabolism is no longer that of a 10 year old, thus drinking and excessive cheese eating mean my dresses no longer like to zip) and I am having a bi-polar relationship with my thighs. This is all important to your life because.... well frankly it isn't. But the good news is:we are both bored and I may be entertaining someone other than myself.